Real. Life. Growth.

3 Ways to use Your Why to Help You


 The road ends in water. That's the sign I saw on a recent motorcycle trip.


So I'm cruising around enjoying the fall colors near a lake, when I saw this sign, and immediately I laughed in my helmet. First of all, I don't remember ever seeing a road sign like this road ends in water. But there was still something about it. that struck me as funny.

I snapped a picture of it. I thought about it a while. As I turned around, after all, I was there on a motorcycle, at the lake, not a boat. And as I continued my ride, I kept thinking about it and realize why the sign struck me is funny.

The reason was why I was there in the first place. I was there ride my motorcycle, not to get in the water. So I'll explain more in a minute.


What do I mean by "Why?"

 Why can be used in two ways. One is to talk about past events. We use why to look at causality. What happened that resulted in this…whatever this is. What were you thinking when you did that? But that's not the...

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What to do with regrets


Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda….
We've all heard the phrase, and likely all have said it at some point.

Basically, these are your regrets in life, the things you wish you had done and If only____fill in the blank___I would have….or could have…even Should have done it.
It's understandable though. The reason we have regrets is that we don't live in a perfect world.

At the very least, our Woulds, Coulds and Shoulds is a list of missed opportunities and not necessarily a mistake (unless you count not doing them as a mistake but whatever.
There are so many opportunities that I have missed out on because of my own fear, insecurity, stubbornness. Ha! My stubbornness for sure has cost me. Don't ask my parents about that.
There are two things we can do to work through these regrets and prevent more in the future.
1) Leave the past in the past. Dragging your past to the present day only kills your effectiveness because it keeps you focused on past mistakes.


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How to fit your goals on a t-shirt

goals growth May 22, 2020

Hey everyone, you probably have a ton of things on your plate right now.

But I want to talk for a second about the big things on your list .

Big things are more complex, take more time or are more important than the other things on the list.

Big things are also those actions that will bring the most return on investment of your time and attention.

Because in life, your time and attention are finite not infinite they can either be spent on what's known as
1) the critical few or
the 2) trivial many.

In other words, there are typically only a very few things that are TRULY the most important things in your life. Think of this like the classic "God, family, country."

Then there are the trivial many. These are like the steady drip (or flood) of continuous activities in your day.

These are not unimportant but they can be overwhelming if not kept in check of whatever is TRULY most important.

So, here's a question worth answering…"How can I get the biggest return on my time and...

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The two faces of the question "What if?"


Hey everyone, I've got this question on my mind this week "What if?"
It's a simple question right? "What if?"
But it’s not as simple as you think at first. Here’s why…
What's interesting about it is that it has two faces to it…one's ugly and the other is exhilarating
Too often I am asking the question from a starting point of fear and it sounds something like this…
· What if I say what I REALLY want to, what will people think?
· What if I start that business and it doesn't work out?
· What if I DON'T do that, what will happen?
· What if my kids don’t turn out like I hope?
Does this sound familiar? It does to me!
In fact, too often, I find myself asking the question "What if" -- out of fear.
And a lot of it is subconscious and by that I mean I don't even realize I'm doing it. I shut down my own dreams, I kill my best ideas. I am often my worst enemy for it.
But the question "What If?" has another...

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Hey, younger turns out faking isn't necessary

authentic fake real May 08, 2020

Hey everyone, I've addressed this video to my younger self but maybe it will help you in some way.

We've all heard the phrase "fake it 'till you make it", right?

I'm sure some of you have used it before or are still using it in some circumstances.

I've used it too! I used it for years as a way to motivate myself to just dive in and try to solve problems even if I didn't know how to solve them. It's like, "Hey, I don't know how to do this but I need to or want to therefore I'll just "fake it till I make it." I'll figure it out.

I'd say it's worked for me in some situations when I've needed to just figure it out and get it done.

But in the last few years, I've thought a lot more about this.

I'm thinking about the phrase "fake it till you make it"  like through two lenses of a pair of eyeglasses.

  • First, there is that which I communicate to myself, my internal dialog, my thought life.
  • Second, there are the messages I communicate to others, whether verbally or through my behavior.
  • ...
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There is no new normal


Hey everyone, we've been hearing this phrase "the New Normal" lately, right?   Well, for several weeks something's been bothering me about that phrase and I am finally putting words to what it is.

Although I understand the point of the term, I don't really think there is such a thing as a "New Normal"…   …instead there is just "Normal", but we humans just hate change.

Now I'm not one to gripe about a term and I really don't care if people use it. But think with me for a second… since the creation of the Earth and all humanity, things have been in constant change. Look at nature and how violent it is.

My own community is recovering from an EF3 tornado that hit here on Easter 2020. When you see the landscape, you see dramatic change. It is not recognizable as what it has looked like my whole life.   What about Corona virus? A quick internet search reveals dozens of pandemics over hundreds of years.

Look at humanity and the rate of change we see in...

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Shhh....I'm listening to wisdom!

endurance growth wisdom Apr 30, 2020
Hey everyone, we're being hit with so much negative these days and I wanted to send a short message of encouragement to you.
As a child of the 80's I watch the movie "Pee Wee's Big Adventure".
It's a totally goofy movie.
But one of the funniest lines that I remember to this day is when his friend urges Pee Wee to listen to reason. Then when his friend tries to talk, Pee Wee says "Shhhhhh….I'm listening to reason!"
This came to mind again at a recent visit to my parents front yard.
We were keeping our social distance from them and had our two teenage kids with us at the time.
Before we left, my Dad walked closer to my kids and said,
"Hey, just remember this about all this Coronavirus stuff and quarantine…this is NOT the Worst thing that will happen to you in your lifetime"
So my kids didn't mistake the comment as a downer, I added the phrase "This too shall pass".
The more I thought about it, the more I appreciated...
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