Hey, younger me...it turns out faking isn't necessary

authentic fake real May 08, 2020

Hey everyone, I've addressed this video to my younger self but maybe it will help you in some way.

We've all heard the phrase "fake it 'till you make it", right?

I'm sure some of you have used it before or are still using it in some circumstances.

I've used it too! I used it for years as a way to motivate myself to just dive in and try to solve problems even if I didn't know how to solve them. It's like, "Hey, I don't know how to do this but I need to or want to therefore I'll just "fake it till I make it." I'll figure it out.

I'd say it's worked for me in some situations when I've needed to just figure it out and get it done.

But in the last few years, I've thought a lot more about this.

I'm thinking about the phrase "fake it till you make it"  like through two lenses of a pair of eyeglasses.

  • First, there is that which I communicate to myself, my internal dialog, my thought life.
  • Second, there are the messages I communicate to others, whether verbally or through my behavior.

So, viewed from the lens of internal dialog, I've used this phrase to gain courage and do difficult things, things I was afraid of. And I guarantee without pumping myself up, I would have shied away from some big opportunities in my life. And because of this, I feel ok how I've used the phrase when viewed from this lens.

Viewed from the lens of what messages I send to others, I think I've really messed this one up. You see, I spent a long time being afraid of what people thought of me. I wanted to be viewed by others a certain way and if I feared otherwise, I would "fake it till I made it." I was too afraid to admit that I needed help or that I didn't know what to do.

This resulted in a lot of anxiety! I was trying to APPEAR knowledgeable, competent, motivated, or you fill in the blank.

"Hey Younger Me! It turns out that faking for appearance sake isn't necessary….or healthy."

It is soooo much better to just be REAL. Be real about:

  •  what you know and don't know
  • what you can do or not do
  • what your strengths are and what they are not
  • what you prefer and what you don't

When this happens, there is so much freedom and much less anxiety. People respect honest people, genuine people, and people who aren't afraid to speak their true feelings.

People….YOU and I ….are all searching for that which is REAL… What is TRUE…People we can BELIEVE in and not be disappointed? But even more, we want to BE REAL OURSELVES…to be our true self.

My challenge today, for myself and you is to be REAL.

What do you want to say that you're too afraid to say because of what someone will think?

What have you always wanted to do but too afraid of what may happen?

Is someone expecting something from you that you have NO IDEA how to do but you're too afraid to admit it?

BE REAL about it and see what happens….


you might be surprised that faking it, isn't really necessary.

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